Staple gun sorceress!

This is what happens when I stare at a staple gun and a roll of poly long enough:

 Not bad, right? Everything is planted but wax beans and corn (just have to get the seeds), and rather than fret over cool nights and the first two weeks of crappy drizzle cold in June (happens every year, juz sayin), I've made a super-temporary greenhouse WITH MY MIND. And my hands. And a staple gun and plastic.

Best part is that as the weather gets warmer and the plants get bigger, I can pull away sections that need to go. Downsides: weeding is kinda hard with this set up, but it's not impossible. Also, if a storm whipped through, I doubt the thing could withstand crazy wind, BUT there's a bit of hail protection now, so yeah!

I've also been power drilling and wallpapering in my dining room, so I'm feeling preeeetty handy over here. This garden better 'preciate!

garden's gettin' knocked up

My garden is about to get so pregnant, you guys. Is that gross? It's a little gross. But I'm going to continue on with this analogy, so let's all just be adults and accept the fact that sex is a natural part of life, and that lots of sex happens in gardens.

So there's been a lot of foreplay happening over the last few weeks. I've been really workin' it, diggin' deep, fluffin' it up, prepping' it to it's most fertile potential (eeeeewwwwww!). And now... IT'S READY. We're gonna DO IT. I'm gonna plant 'er up.

Nice, right? Just added some peat and manure (sexy hey?), and I've got two little cold frame/portable greenhouse things for my tenders. MORE LIKE TENDER LOVIN'. 

These are my handy tools (and the small mountain of stones and clay that I've dug up) that have served me well in the wooing of my lil' plot. I should've also included my spine in this photo. I've "let my backbone slide" on many occasions while working with my love. The things we do!

This is one of my sod stashes. Love isn't always pretty, and sometimes there's a bit of, uhmm... unpleasantness that is better off kept out of sight.

Another sod stash (behind the shed). 

Another stash. Like the Fraggles' trash pile, only all grass and dirt. It tells stories about worms, mainly. 

Between gardening and baking, my hands are the ugliest hands. When people tell me I look young, I tell them to look at my hands and then they're like, "oh so you're 50 then?" Ps. my thumb isn't actually that huge. But if it was it'd be preeeeetty handy in the ol' boudoir, eh? Hey?

 My herb boxes are birthing little herbs! It's GLORIOUS.

 Babies! These are also some of my pepper seedlings, they're just hanging out with the tomatoes temporarily until I transplant them into the garden.

 Can't even say how in love I am with this dirt (and that's one of Vera's new yard/wind decorations). Also, the garage is dingy. Soon the plants will pretty it up though.

 And these things are growing around the house! Don't know what they are yet, but I'm sure they'll be lovely. Sexin' it up! (just threw that in because I realized I was losing the sex-theme)

 Lilac trees are lilac-ing!

Apple tree is gettin' it on!

Spring feeeeevveeerrrr!!! Perfect for Mother's Day. I mean, I have kids too, so I'm a real mom as well. But generally Mother's Day is the weekend that I am at my peak of garden obsession. Fertility is in the air and everything wants to make the love! Wooooooo!