pretty awse procrastinatin'

I have a zillion things to do, so I decided to go out and work in the yard instead. I mean, look at this goddamned yard! Can you blame me? Seriously. Seriously, guys. I'm serious about this.

Oh, hi apple tree in full bloom. You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen and I think we should go on some dates. Backyard dates are cool with me because I don't have a car either. 

City of Calgary is selling composters for $35.00, yo! Mine arrived today and I assembled it all by my strong and independent self, and when it was finished I shouted, "LIVE. LIIIVE" for like, 20 minutes. Nothing happened. Maybe once I put some stuff in it, who knows. As for the garden itself, everything is still tiny sprouts and, as such, are not super fun to look at in pics. Peas, lettuce, swiss chard, peppers, squash, carrots, beets, and tons of herbs are all up though! But a squirrel ate my pumpkin sprouts, grrr. You do NOT want to be in my backyard when the squirrel is around! Teeennnnsion!

 Summer squashes are doin' it right! Keep it up, champs!

Oh what, this? This is just my backyard. This is just 1/3 of it, it's totally huge, nbd. Sending future curses to the developers who will someday bulldoze the house and build shitty infills with piddly yards. Future stupids!

Not relevant to my yard, but this is my beloved bike. It's getting pretty junky, but I adore it and we have great times together. We're very close, but it's a plutonic close, you know? Friends forever or until it rusts to death. 

 Lilacs are bloomin'! And that's my kiddos' nanny's bike. She is also one of my BFFs and she is the best nanny of all time. Lotta love in this post!

EXCITING RECENT DEVELOPMENT: the landlords gave me the go-ahead to plant raspberries. I'm SO excited to add the little nerds to my pretty family!

Underdog tomatoes! My roomie/pal/neighbor/ex couldn't bear to see me toss out the left over heirloom tomato seedlings, so he planted them around the house. And wellzy wellzy, they're doing pretty damn good! Great job, runts!

This is my favourite part of the yard – the mysterious side-yard: neither front nor back, floating between two realitieeeesssss... if I was a kid I would spend ALL of my time here. 

And some happy surprises! Lily of The Valley's lining the north wall of the house! Hooray!!

Nice life, right? Inner city renting, man. We're close to five different playgrounds, groceries, river trails, Kensington shops and restaurants... I'll rent for eternity if it means living in this little paradise.

JUNE

I'm taking a quick break from cakes to think about my garden... sorry I couldn't come up with a better post title! It's June, though, hey? Cool!

I'm going to rename my Black Prince tomatoes "Ol' Reliables". This is my second year growing them from seed and they're hardy, awesome producers. They are also super delicious.

You can baaaarely make out the three rows of carrots. I kind of need to weed. And by "kind of" I mean, "I really, really, reallyreally need to weed".

Peas, lettuce and swiss chard! And weeds! One reason I'm putting off weeding is because I planted herbs all over the place and then neglected to mark them, so I'll be doing a lot of weed-tasting this weekend.

Beans! Helloooooo babieeess!

Apple tree is bustin out! It's not in full-bloom yet but hoo boy, I swoon and sigh every time I go outside.

The gate to the front. What's in the front yard? MAGIC AND ENCHANTMENT. And dandelions. Oh and a Nanking Cherry bush! Recently discovered! Alright!

Kay back to cakes. Wooo!

Staple gun sorceress!

This is what happens when I stare at a staple gun and a roll of poly long enough:

 Not bad, right? Everything is planted but wax beans and corn (just have to get the seeds), and rather than fret over cool nights and the first two weeks of crappy drizzle cold in June (happens every year, juz sayin), I've made a super-temporary greenhouse WITH MY MIND. And my hands. And a staple gun and plastic.

Best part is that as the weather gets warmer and the plants get bigger, I can pull away sections that need to go. Downsides: weeding is kinda hard with this set up, but it's not impossible. Also, if a storm whipped through, I doubt the thing could withstand crazy wind, BUT there's a bit of hail protection now, so yeah!

I've also been power drilling and wallpapering in my dining room, so I'm feeling preeeetty handy over here. This garden better 'preciate!

garden's gettin' knocked up

My garden is about to get so pregnant, you guys. Is that gross? It's a little gross. But I'm going to continue on with this analogy, so let's all just be adults and accept the fact that sex is a natural part of life, and that lots of sex happens in gardens.

So there's been a lot of foreplay happening over the last few weeks. I've been really workin' it, diggin' deep, fluffin' it up, prepping' it to it's most fertile potential (eeeeewwwwww!). And now... IT'S READY. We're gonna DO IT. I'm gonna plant 'er up.

Nice, right? Just added some peat and manure (sexy hey?), and I've got two little cold frame/portable greenhouse things for my tenders. MORE LIKE TENDER LOVIN'. 

These are my handy tools (and the small mountain of stones and clay that I've dug up) that have served me well in the wooing of my lil' plot. I should've also included my spine in this photo. I've "let my backbone slide" on many occasions while working with my love. The things we do!

This is one of my sod stashes. Love isn't always pretty, and sometimes there's a bit of, uhmm... unpleasantness that is better off kept out of sight.

Another sod stash (behind the shed). 

Another stash. Like the Fraggles' trash pile, only all grass and dirt. It tells stories about worms, mainly. 

Between gardening and baking, my hands are the ugliest hands. When people tell me I look young, I tell them to look at my hands and then they're like, "oh so you're 50 then?" Ps. my thumb isn't actually that huge. But if it was it'd be preeeeetty handy in the ol' boudoir, eh? Hey?

 My herb boxes are birthing little herbs! It's GLORIOUS.

 Babies! These are also some of my pepper seedlings, they're just hanging out with the tomatoes temporarily until I transplant them into the garden.

 Can't even say how in love I am with this dirt (and that's one of Vera's new yard/wind decorations). Also, the garage is dingy. Soon the plants will pretty it up though.

 And these things are growing around the house! Don't know what they are yet, but I'm sure they'll be lovely. Sexin' it up! (just threw that in because I realized I was losing the sex-theme)

 Lilac trees are lilac-ing!

Apple tree is gettin' it on!

Spring feeeeevveeerrrr!!! Perfect for Mother's Day. I mean, I have kids too, so I'm a real mom as well. But generally Mother's Day is the weekend that I am at my peak of garden obsession. Fertility is in the air and everything wants to make the love! Wooooooo!

hoppy spring, everyone.

My garden is inching its way into existence and I am puuuuummped! The drama has begun! I seriously wish there was a reality gardening show. It's SO exciting! "She's put the seedlings out... HOW WILL THEY TAKE IT? One of them is looking droopy, WILL IT SURVIVE THE TRANSPLANT??" It never ends, you guys! I can't even imagine how thrilling and stressful it must have been for people who had to rely on their crops and gardens for survival. I enjoy it as a side-hobby, but maaaaaan it had to have been nerve wracking (as well as monumentally fulfilling) to have had to bank your life on the elements. CRAZY. 

Okay anyway: 

Transplanted most of the heirloom tomatoes and am now hardening them off. Poly is the most useful thing ever! Instant little greenhouses!

Best pal ex's are the best – mine in particular. He built this sweet mini-greenhouse/cold frame so I can start my tenders (melons & squash) in the ground a bit earlier. I'm determined to get melons, goddammit!! Nothing's gonna stop me now.

And this is my slowly-forming plot. Can I get a hollah for my back? I've tilled all of this by hand/pitchfork, starting last fall and working on it bit by bit as the ground thawed. Almost there! Just 2/3 of lump/sod sifting left! If you see me and I have disproportionally developed lower back muscles, this is why. Oh and watch out cuz my back muscles will punch your wimpy back muscles.

Also I've discovered that, even though it's filled with drama and emotional rollercoastering, gardening is the one thing that can ease my mind no matter what. It's like a brain massage and I love it more than Alias' words can say. Didn't catch that reference? Here:

http://youtu.be/RM146mVPttY

Now you know.

so close... soooooo close. Spring 2011.

The girls are nappin and my garden obsession is bursting outta me with all this sunshine, so I snagged the new camera and wandered around the yard sighing...

Seeeedlings! These are inside, of course. But lookit 'em go! These are the heirloom tomatoes.

The peppers (on the left) are coming along sooooo slowly, and some of them didn't come up at all. Lazy.

This is my garden plot. I'm gonna make it about 3' wider. I put a giant snowball on it because the wall tends to heat the area a lot, making it a bit dry. This'll be something I'll have to watch during the summer. The melons will love it though!

Oh hey, apple tree. You're going to be really pretty in a few weeks.

CAN'T WAIT. Srsly. Some of these things were bday presents (BEST bday presents). I had to restock since the landlord owned everything at the last place.

This is just yard porn. I love it with all of my soul.

All of the tomatoes and herbs will sit along the edge of these steps. It will be glorious.

Not the most interesting pic, but that's one of our lilacs. This yard will seriously be paradise soon.

Oh hi, house. Wildflowers will go in the front. Sigh sigh sigh.

Smug selfer!! Look at how happy I am that my skin will soon be not translucent! Hooray for nice weather!!

March is trollin - U mad?

Yeah yeah, it's only March and I KNOW spring is coming soon, but maaaaaaaaaaaaan. I'm cranky. I've also spent way too much of today on the internet and my crankiness is thus exacerbated, but still.

Anyway, here are my seedlings. They are also cranky because the sun decided to stop hanging out as soon as they popped up. Thanks a lot, SUN.

Nice job, guys. 

Even the garage looks grumpy?

And this is kind of a testament to my internetting. My front yard. It's snowing the troll meme face. The troll meme is a jerk that enjoys annoying people, and says stuff like "u mad?". Troll snow. And yes, yes I am.

Kay the snow is actually nice and wet and heavy, so like, I guess we should go out and make snowmen or something? Thing about that is, it's really fun to make snowmen when it's wintertime and your brain is in wintertime mode. When it's springtime and everything looks like this, I'm more prone to staying inside in protest. We'll get out there, though. For the children. For the children.