March is trollin - U mad?

Yeah yeah, it's only March and I KNOW spring is coming soon, but maaaaaaaaaaaaan. I'm cranky. I've also spent way too much of today on the internet and my crankiness is thus exacerbated, but still.

Anyway, here are my seedlings. They are also cranky because the sun decided to stop hanging out as soon as they popped up. Thanks a lot, SUN.

Nice job, guys. 

Even the garage looks grumpy?

And this is kind of a testament to my internetting. My front yard. It's snowing the troll meme face. The troll meme is a jerk that enjoys annoying people, and says stuff like "u mad?". Troll snow. And yes, yes I am.

Kay the snow is actually nice and wet and heavy, so like, I guess we should go out and make snowmen or something? Thing about that is, it's really fun to make snowmen when it's wintertime and your brain is in wintertime mode. When it's springtime and everything looks like this, I'm more prone to staying inside in protest. We'll get out there, though. For the children. For the children.

OMGarden bloggin' 2011

AWE YEAH. New season in da hoooooooouuuuuuuuuusssse! And by house I mean 3B zooooooooooonnnnne!

Just ordered my batch of organic seeds from Salt Spring Seeds. Peat pots will get rolling asap, yo!

As I mentioned in previous posts, I'll have a nice, big sunny patch this year and I'm SO PUMPED.

Here's what's coming in the mail wooooooooooooo:

Black Prince heirloom tomatoes. I grew these last year and they beat all the other varieties as far as production and flavour. So delicious. The girls ate them like apples. And they're called Black Princes which makes them dangerous and sexy.

Taxi heirloom tomatoes. Haven't tried them yet, but they are cute and yellow so... hey? Yeah? Early determinate variety lemon-sized and sweet in salads boooooooooyeaaaaaaaaaah.

"Tiger Tom" heirloom tomatoes. I wanted a novelty type for fun. Plus I can call their juice tiger blood and then I can call myself Charlie Sheen. Who's sick of Ch'sheen jokes can I get a hollaaaaaahhhhh?

"Gardener's Delight". Little plum variety. And they damn well better delight me.

Etkezesi sweet peppers. I couldn't find a pic of them though. They're a high yielding Hungarian heirloom. Yellow to orange, thick-walled, sweet. Awesommmeee!

Ancho hot pepper. Thought it'd be nice to add some heat to the harvest this year. Whoa I should be an extreme garden announcer! "THIS YEAR ADD SOME HEAT TO THE HARVEST WITH EXTREME ANCHOS. THEY WILL EXPLODE YOUR SUPPER FOODS WITH THEIR INCREDISPICE".

Styrian Pumpkin. You can eat the entire seed from these dudes! THE ENTIRE SEED. Like, uncooked. What sort of magic is this, pumpkin king? The rest of the pumpkin can be eaten like zucchini and used in soups or stir fries so yeah.

Noir Des Carmes melon. Yes I'm tying melons AGAIN. Hopefully my sweet south-facing garden wall will be a good enough home for them and I'll actually get one GD melon. They're touted as "one of the easiest to grow and most luxurious of melons". SWAG MELONS.

Lutz Beets. Not super interesting pics of them so whatevs, but they're good beets and I really like their name. LUTZ. It's so internet fresh!!

Aaaaaannnd Scarlet Nantes Carrots. High carrot fivers! Boomshackalacka or something.

Of course, I'll be planting plenty more than this, such as lettuce, corn, cucumbers, herbs, eggplants, peas, and whatever else I have room for. Seriously so excited. So so super excited. I cannot wait for the drama, the love, and the trashtalkin. There should for real be a gardening reality tv show. SO exciting all the time!

season end and sweet starts

So we totally moved and our new place is totally A+++. I pulled up all the remaining plants and I'm hoping that I get some serious indoors ripening action in the next few weeks. I have mega plans for next year, and I'll be prepping my new plot next week. Here are some pics of my current garden life:

I'll put in a 4' wide by 12' long plot in front of the garage. All day sun and warm south facing wall, betches! Mike's gonna do a lean-to greenhouse for the springtime too, so don't be surprised if my garden kicks all y'alls gardens asses next year. P.S: landlords totes gonna repaint the deck and house/garage exterior in the spring. Beat that! Also, that trashy looking cardboard box is drying after the rain, Vera and Dot play in it alla the times.

Garden shed filled with garden things. Boom. Also, that happens to be an apple tree that grows small fist-sized apples. Double boom.

MY KITCHEN. FOR ME. So many cakes and jams and preserves will be born here. Makes me a lil misty-eyed just thinking about it.

Lazy shot of the final harvest IN. YOUR. FACES. We got a big bag o' dill, two paper bags o' sweet peppers (ripen, damn yooouuuuu!), a bigass bag of heirloom tomatoes (with an apple in there for ripening encouragement), a summer squash, and an eggplant. SNAP. BAM. BOOM.

You guys aren't even gonna know how to handle how amazing my garden will be next year. Juz sayin. Gawd this post is so gangsta fresh! 

pickling season!

And by pickling season, I of course mean that I have pickled one jar of carrots. OPEN A WINDA, THIS KITCHEN IS BUSTIN.

cosmic purple pickled carrots. no biggie.

mini harvest

With the risk of winter barging in and with our move coming up, I figured now would be a good time to grab up what I can. The forecast calls for warm and sunny next week, and there is still lots left for harvestin', but in the event that a major ice storm or some other such freakish apocalyptic disaster happens between now and then, I wanted at least one photo to remind me of all of my 2010 garden efforts.

Here's what I got:
Bottom - leetle eggplant. There are many many more and the plants seem unaffected by the cold, so I'm hoping that, even after we move, I can pop over and reap my little purple beauties.
Clockwise from eggplant:
- summer squash. There are a few more, hopefully the plant pulls through and we can get some more off of it n the weeks to come.
- one sweet italian pepper. Again, I picked this one early (green) and there are many more. Same sich for the eggplants. Vera devoured it while my back was turned. I guess they weren't kidding about the sweet part.
- basil! Everything in front of the south-facing front window is doing fine, including the basil. I picked most of it though. Don't want to push my luck.
- sage. Lots of sage! Anyone want some sage?
- beets. Rather, beet greens. The beets didn't have a good enough spot for bulging, but these greens will be delish anyway.
- leetle onions and a garlic. When I first planted everything I jammed a bunch of garlic cloves in the dirt to ward off squirrels. The cloves cheerfully grew into more garlic. Neato! The little onions need more time overall, but I got a couple good ones.
- cosmic purple carrots! I'm actually impressed at how big these got despite being miserable in the shade. Sweet little snacks for Vera!
- tomatoooeeeeess! Lots of them and for the most part the plants look like they'll put through into the nicer weather. Some of these 'maters are frost damaged. Booo! I'll maybe make salsa verdé or something? I dunno.

So yeah. Oh and PS. I AM IN LOVE WITH GARDENING AND WILL DO A MORE AWESOME JOB NEXT YEAR. I can't WAIT!!

don't tell my garden that it isn't July

If it were early July, my garden would be kicking ass. Unfortunately, it's late August. We'll see what it can do in these last few weeks before the frost. I give all of my plants regular expectant yet disapproving and highly critical glares, so I'm hoping they notice at some point that my standards are far, far higher than what they're currently reaching for.  I'm also hoping that I can cover them for the hard frost and then they can continue into a nice warm September... dare to dream!

sage and basil. basil is finally kickin it. anyone want some sage??

eggplants and peppers have exploded. these are from organic seeds too! shove it up yer arses, GMOs!

sweet italian peppers. waiting for their redness.

BOO YEAH. EGGPLANT.

the back garden looks like this. the overall theme is "struggle for survival". shade is a no-no. I have yet to learn that lesson.

BUT whaddo we got here? It's a summer squash, mthrfckrs. YOU'VE GOT TWO WEEKS SQUASH. DO IT.

and yep! cucumbers! might even have enough for one jar of pickles before the frost. one jar. thanks garden. thanks a lot.

and my purple carrots are actually making carrots!! a rabbit hangs out with me when I garden, and I let him eat the sad lettuce and nibble on the carrots. we're like that because we're friends. I can get about a foot away from him before he's like "uhhh... yer creepy" and runs away. vera named him "bugs bugs".

BLUE-PODDED PEAS IN YOUR FACE. There's only about three pods so far, but I've witnesses the miracle of them and next year I'm doing them again.

all of the tomatoes are doing awesome, but the silver fir heirlooms are really fun. the plants cannot be tamed. just like me, so we totally get each other. I'll post pics of the golden ones and PURPLE ones (black princes) once they've got some colour and are more interesting to look at.

So yeah, that's how my garden's growin. Annnd FUN GARDEN NEWS: we're moving (again), which at first sounds crummy, but get this: Oct 1st, we're moving to a house just at the end of our block, on a HUUUGE corner lot. Massive fenced in yards, awesome deck, double garage, fire pit, garden shed... and they gave me the okay to dig out a small garden. There is a perfect, sheltered, sunny spot in the northwest corner, and I'm gonna work it HARD. I'm really excited. And after this, NO MORE MOVING. Seriously. We've moved too goddamn much. This place is worth it though. It's perfect and a sweet deal. Can't wait!!

time, love, and miracle grow

Garden update! I'M GROWIN FOOD YO! Yeah, I used miracle grow, but I needed a miracle. Several miracles. Next year I'll do it perfectly organically. My need for garden satisfaction trumps nature.

parsley! 

sage! like the wisdom!

basil finally decided to step it up. delicious, but lazy.

pepper blossoms! can't wait for peppers!

pretty eggplant blossoms!!!

lots of tomatoes!

dill, marigolds, and summer squash that is tiny and might not produce... there's a bigger one that'll probs make squashes, but the picture of it is really boring. you can also see the scraggliest pumpkins plant up top. it is making a fool of itself by living.

hey cucumbers, do you think you'll make any cucumbers? cucumbers: "meh".

leetle onions!

skipping over my sad shady plants...

nanking cherries! we're gonna make some sweet sweet jelly with these!

these things are amazing and they are everywhere. EAT THEM Y'DUMMIES!